Comparison. It’s a game we all play. A game that quietly allures to us, ensnares us, and evades our notice all at once. It’s a simple game; creeping in like a poison and consuming our thoughts and attitudes before we realize the effects of its venom. It can encompass every aspect of our lives. We compare our looks, our status, our jobs, our social lives, our homes, and, at the core, our value. At the mere touch of a button, we can feel the weight of our “inadequacy” as we scroll for countless hours on social media apps or sit in front of our television screens. We can feel it in the conversations with our coworkers, friends, and even our families. It is a never-ending game. One we can never master.
I have fought the game of comparison my whole life. And chances are, you have too. In a world where comparison has grown into a rather lucrative social media venture, the effects continue to grow stronger and more pervasive with time; the weight of it growing heavier and reaching deeper into our hearts. It encourages us to feel less valuable and significant in our lives. Maybe comparison isn’t an overpowering issue that you battle with. But if it is, I pray you will read these words and be inspirited with a fresh sense of hope and purpose in your life and home.
My blog is a space where I share my love of home and all that entails. I love the idea of home. I delight in creating spaces that promote a sense of peace and joy. I enjoy the adventure of being creative and trying new ideas that grow our home into a place where we long to be. I thoroughly believe that the art of creating is a gift. Creating a home is a gift, one I do not want to take for granted. But lurking beneath the surface of sharing and creating is the monster that is comparison. It is an ever-present battle that continues to entrap me and so many others in our striving to build homes of beauty and value.
I recently shared in a conversation with a friend where we discussed the feelings of inadequacy when we carelessly partake in comparison. The idea that we will never be able to measure up to the expectations set before us weighs heavily on our minds. But why? I think beneath the surface of it all, we simply want to feel valued, appreciated, and worthy. We long to feel as if who we are and what we do is good enough. We want the efforts of our hearts, minds, and hands to be praise-worthy and applauded. And when we fail to measure up to the expectations or accomplishments of those around us, our feelings of worthlessness can grow and strengthen in our exhausted, beaten down minds.
It has become far too easy to access a world where our homes suddenly feel too small, too bland, and too mundane. We compare our creativity and efforts to the ever-growing, unrealistic standards set before us, and we suddenly feel that our talents and efforts are fruitless. The home we were once proud of becomes seemingly devoid of purpose because it can never reach the same level of “beauty” and “perfection” flashed before us on our screens. But at the core of these contemplations, the truth remains: no one else’s success or achievement can ever negate the success or achievement we accomplish when we are fixed right where God has us in this very moment. And when we keep our focus on the comparison game, we are living and breathing for the approval of others. We have, in essence, tied our value to the continuously evolving opinions of our world.
My friend, your value is never dictated by the swaying winds of public opinion. Your worth is never determined by the cost of your furniture, the color of your walls, or the stylishness of your decor. It is not defined by trends, “good vibes”, or hustle culture. Our value comes from a much greater source. An eternal one. And we were made in His image. For His purpose.
As a follower of Christ, my purpose is to glorify Him and proclaim Him in all that I do. And part of that means that I need to steward my home and responsibilities well. He is the source of these gifts, after all, and stewarding these gifts well is an act of gratitude and worship. But these gifts do not define me. They do not add or detract from my intrinsic value as an image bearer of God. And the same applies to you. When I am drowning myself in the comparison game, my eyes are not fixed where they belong. My heart is yearning for something I am not called to in this season. If ever. My hope has been placed in finite ideals. And it always produces the sense of inadequacy that I desperately wish to avoid.
I want to encourage you today that if you are battling with the merciless burden of comparison, you are not alone. If you feel that your home, talents, and efforts continuously fall short, you are not alone. If you feel that your value is tied to the materialism and flashiness of this world, you are not alone. But I want to remind you that no amount of Pottery Barn furniture will ever fulfill you. No amount of trendy decor or stylish accents will add to your worthiness. No paint colors or trends can ever satisfy the fleeting opinions of others. Your value is never tied to those anyway.
Enjoy your home. Enjoy the process of creating that home. Enjoy the beauty and the work your hands create. Enjoy these good gifts. But always remember that your value is never tied to those abilities. And comparing, while so easy to do, can lead us down a dangerous road when we leave it unchecked. Hold fast to eternal truths, remember where your intrinsic value lies, and live peacefully in the knowledge that your homes are a blessing and not a trophy to be compared in a momentary competition. Comparison will fail you, but Christ never will.
That was beautifully written, Jill!