We’ve all seen them. Those photos on Instagram or Pinterest that take our breath away; the ones plastered all over your favorite magazines. You know the ones. You can probably already picture them in your mind. The photos of THE perfect kitchen, the designer living room, the latest and greatest interior design trends… We love to look at photos that deeply inspire us, that give us a fresh perspective on how we can improve our own homes. I know I do. Alongside all of this lovely design inspiration, though, can lurk something that is not always so lovely. Sometimes, these beautiful photos of immaculately designed spaces can leave us feeling anything but inspired; sometimes they can leave us feeling downright inadequate. We start asking ourselves questions like, how will I ever be able to afford a kitchen like that? Will my home ever measure up to what the world tells me my home should be? I don’t have the latest and greatest, am I less than the woman who does? I’ve asked myself those questions more times than I can count. If you have ever felt that way, I’m here to tell you: you are not alone.
You see, with the rise of social media platforms, we are now being exposed to more visual content than ever before. The pressure to create homes worthy of these modern magazines is at an all-time high. Sometimes, we hop on Instagram or Pinterest for a quick scroll and then look up from our phones, only to feel how “small” our home is, how “outdated” our living spaces are, how “drab” our color scheme is, or how “disappointing” our furniture seems in comparison. And on and on it goes. Eventually, the things that we have loved about our home or the pieces we’ve cherished over the years can suddenly feel “less than” because the internet somehow implied they were. It is a never-ending game. And no one wins.
Let me clarify, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve or update our homes, or with those who love to inspire others in the process. Renovations, redecorating, and redesigning our homes can be such a thrill. In fact, our homes are gifts from God that we are called to steward well. But the standards being thrown on our homes today are something entirely different, whether intentional or not. And drawing that line between good stewardship and trying to keep up with our world’s ever-changing standards can be burdensome. Trying to achieve the perfect house is, at its core, an empty chase that will never truly fulfill us. And truth be told, the moment we finally achieve the style we were told would bring us satisfaction, that style is already “outdated”, and a new trend is upon us.
If you are feeling discouraged in your home, I hope that what I am about to share brings you some encouragement today. Magazine-worthy homes are ultimately nothing more than a fleeting standard, but creating a home filled with the love of family and friends will never go out of style. Let that resonate with your heart for a moment. No amount of white paint, or moody-toned paint, will bring you the same amount of joy as hearing your kids play with their friends down the hall. No amount of farmhouse decor will bring a smile to your face the way seeing your loved ones gathered around the table for a good meal can. No trend will ever bring you the satisfaction that creating life-long memories with your family will.
I love interior design and home decor. I love the thrill of the hunt when searching flea markets, antique fairs, and small shops for that perfect piece of furniture or decor for my home. But more than that, I love the memories I create with the people who are with me. I love the time spent around that coffee table with my family far more than I love the coffee table itself. What we create in our homes with those we love most will far outweigh the color scheme we decide to implement. In fact, some of my favorite houses to visit don’t have the latest and greatest anything. They have something far more important: the love and familiarity of friendship and family. Trends and grand designs mean absolutely nothing if we don’t maintain the proper perspective while we are creating the homes that we love. And I have to remind myself of that often. The heart of the home is not the kitchen after all, the heart of the home is those who live and gather in it.
The next time you feel discouraged as you scroll through your social media or pick up your favorite magazine off the shelf, I sincerely hope that you’ll remember these truths. The heart behind why we do anything should always be more important than what we are doing in the first place. Guarding our hearts with eternal truths is not always easy, but it’s necessary. So, enjoy decorating your home, but enjoy those who dwell in your home even more. Paint your walls whatever color you desire, even if some designers tell you it isn’t good enough. Pick out your favorite decor pieces for your living room, even if they are no longer trendy. Go ahead and put carpet in your bedrooms if you want to, even when it’s not the popular choice. Or, style your home with the latest trends you love, but remember that your true value is not defined by them. Having a “magazine-worthy home” that you and your family don’t love is never worth the price; having a home that you thrive in is far more valuable than any design trend, and your worth is never defined by the “worthiness” of your home anyway.
I particularly love this one. It makes a huge difference and yet is so easy to do.
Loving where we live and wanting to improve it or have fun with the design can be such a great thing. But too often in our culture, we are told that our worthiness rests in whether or not our homes meet some sort of societal expectation. And it breaks my heart. I do what I do because I love it. But I can’t let my worth rest in that. I hear from so many women who feel defeated because they can’t live up to these expectations from the world. It’s wrong. And that was why I wanted to share this reminder and push back against the cultural narrative. It’s something I battle myself, and I certainly want to help others who struggle with it as well, because you are right, it is so easy to do.
What you wrote is so true, Jill. I think when we purchase something we ‘love’ and keep and enjoy it for many years, it just proves our satisfaction with it. Contentment is not something that’s popular these days, but contentment is something we enjoy! Being content with your ‘finds’ and enjoying them shows your good choices, in my opinion. I have many ‘old, old’ things, but I’ve enjoyed them through the years and I still enjoy them. So, whether old or new, if you’re enjoying them, that’s primary!
Agreed. It’s so unfortunate that we live with a cultural narrative that implies that our worth lies in whether or not we have certain things. You know as well as anyone how much I love to be creative, decorate, and design spaces. But I can never let that define my worth or value. My worth doesn’t lie in the color of my walls or the kind of flooring I have. It goes so much deeper than that. But our world pushes this lie to us women daily, and I have seen SO many women struggling lately because they feel inadequate and “less than” because they don’t have what the world tells them they need to have to be good enough. It’s so sad to me. And that is why I wrote this. I want to remind women, myself included, that having all these things is fleeting, and that we can design, decorate and love our homes the way that works best for us, whether or not the internet agrees with our decisions. Our worth doesn’t come from the opinions thrown at us or the trends we are told to have to bring us “satisfaction”.
So enjoyed what you have written and totally agree with you. There is no way to keep up with current styles without breaking the bank. We need to be satisfied with how we have decorated and enjoy what God has given us. Everyone has a different style and we have ours too. Warmth’s do live in a home are the most important thing for me. I’ve had people tell me my house feels warm and cozy. This makes me happy.
Thank you Jill for sharing.
Carrol, I am so glad and thankful to hear that this resonated with you and encouraged you today!
Jillian: Amen & Amen!!! This is just what this world needs to hear–things will NOT be what makes us happy or content. We love you…thanks for such a testimony.
Thank you, Joni! We love you all too!
So proud of you, Jill!
Love, Mom💜
Thanks, mom!!!